“Ms. Lyle, you need to let go of feeling disappointment. We do not need you to feel any guilt, forgive yourself, ” my lovely physician liltingly speaks to me in the recent teleconference call regarding the uptick in the numbers from the blood work a week ago. Disappointment is my state of being. This stemmed from my expectation that because I had lost weight in the last three months since the last blood work those numbers would be stable or lowered. Didn’t happen. Reality check. Of course I fessed-up to a recent five day wedding event followed by two weeks of birthday celebration, and (being honest in the reality check) – I finished off a very large tin of Clark’s potato chips received as a B-day gift. Craving Satisfied! Now to dealing with Expectations vs Reality. Sounds good coming from my thoughts and knowledge. Taking action – well there’s the rub!
Aside: I do not like to take prescription medications unless absolutely necessary for my survival. But in this scenario, I needed to consider drugs. So being an elder student of growth and awareness, I knew I had to let go of the disappointment feelings, and choose the response action to move forward. How did I do? Followed what I have learned to do.
I had to shift the focus of disappointment and guilt (negative emotions) into a positive state where I could accept the calm, peace, and especially self-forgiveness energies that are somewhere inside of me. That shift happened over several days while I had the same disappointing feeling but kept new self-talking going that I can do this! I can choose to look at my foods and eliminate or have infrequently those food that are not so good for me. I can do that! I want to do that! The minute I shifted my thoughts from denial of my eating issues and thinking “I don’t really want to do that” to” I can and I need to do this” change happens. I owned the thought change.
Once the thought changed, I made time throughout the day for quiet (meditative), focused on my breathing, allowed my body to relax, noticed that I was grounding and centered, and accepted that I would have all the answers I needed. This only took a few minutes throughout the day, but the heaviness and disappointment lifted and I felt energized.
Now, I am very aware of everything I eat and I consciously choose to be present in the moment. And being present in the moment for me is to tap into my senses – sight, smell, sound, taste, touch – and just notice what each of those senses tells me about where I am and what I am feeling in that moment. Being Present.
Okay, now a couple of weeks after the test results I am moving forward daily choosing to be in the present moment asking for deeper nutrition awareness, healthy foods, better exercise, and maintaining positive thoughts. I have 3 months to get the numbers down. Renewed goals and what Aries doesn’t like a challenge? I’ll keep you posted . . .